12:06 PM
Friday, August 21, 2009
its like a dream...
if i didnt believe, it wont have hurt. if i didnt trust, it wont be painful.
the fact that i believe u weren't like this and it turns out that during the period, u actually when to look at the profile of other girls and click 'are u interested' on them... it felt likea billion blade stabbing into me. to believe then i cried a bucket... i felt to much regret abt saying ending it. i made so much effort to call u but u kept hanging up my call. u oersist on ending it. but on the other hand, it felt liek u have move on...
i dunno..
i am very tired. do we have to keep gg thru all these unhappiness? its a torture. or shld i be gracious..
i dunno.. being gracious imply being untrue to myself.
but i am getting there, losing grip.
a gf once told me, every guy does that, jus some wipe it clean, so got found out. but i believe not all guys are like that, cos at the end some evidences might surface. why not not do it, why not be truthful abt everything u say, be sincere with all yr promises, dun even need to wipe any choc, vanilla or strawberry off yr mouth. be the man, that keep to any little promises, even if it meant jus a promise of printing something out for her, writing an entry for her...
jus keep to yr words...
then trust and belief will slowly work out.
why bother cleaning, isn't it much easier and less hassle to heck the temptations? god gave us all one heart and one mouth. one heart to solelylove one person -- either zero or 100%. one mouth to jus taste the best food in the world 9try mixing 2 food tgt, u cant taste the pure flavour, the exact taste) and of cos to talk less and listen more with that 2 ears - to compromise, to make promises, to say nice things. what abt the 2 eyes... for u to see jus yrself and me..
why so... things are like this...
am i living in reality, are all these years real? or was it a illusion? a dream?
:(
3:05 PM
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
a perfume from u. getting use to it. today was definitely much much much better than that day.
quite like that smell. but my nose is so -.-, like to play game w me..
anw.. sch start this week for u. i miss talking to u in office. i miss everything.
jus hope we ok.
10:15 AM
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
school of yours starting... my intern work ending in a month's time. then my one month break after which is my official work at big4.
with all this in mind... i cant help it but to feel a sense of fear shadowing. i dunno. i am afraid that things will go haywired. i am after i might lose myself as much as the probabilty of losing u. maybe at the end of the day.. its a matter of whether i feel u will be influenced by others... i am trying really trying hard.
as for yr job, i think abt it the entire night. i am thankful for u agreeing to quit. (yup, correct me if i am wrong). but i really hope it will happen soon. like u switch to tutioning kids. cos then we will have more time and also... we can meet up more. most importantly u wont be so tired from all the late nights and mad rush.
thought abt u graduating in another 3 years time. yes, i know its freakingly long. LONG! its as long as i took to obtain my degree in accountancy. but then will we still be tgt? right now, i will jus see what we can do for now. past each day being happy. the idea of u saying u
might give up, burst or whatever is vv scary. i know its not like a 50-50 chance.... but i am still worried...
thurs i dunno how, tot u will be there to pei me? dunno like go wed full day and half day for thurs?
but most importantly i hope sch will be great for u this coming sem, u will enjoy class.. and keep to our promises.. knowing yr limits, reduce gg out etc. well of cos at the same time while i keep to mine...
